Ask me Again

Tonight I thought about the possiblity
of having someone of my own
a man
a man who loves me and wants to keep me for his own
a man that cares about me..
adores me...
wants me
Needs me


But I'm afraid

ihaven't felt like loving in a long time
havent ever seen a love like that
Don't know what it feels like
my perception of that emotion is so flawed

My Nature
God fearing
kind hearted
loving
perseverant
driven
family oriented
success driven
happy dealer
kitchen diva
tradition maker
trendsetter
private vixen
luv maker
sex taker
erotic goddess


My Nurture
burned and trampled
amused then abused
manipulated and tried
molested and tested
prodded and poked
rattled and choked
used

the world around me has made me cold and alone
i'm perfectly flawed

Anxious for the future but
too depressed about the past to move forward

My heart
Tells me many things
but do i listen?
or do I proceed with caution?

I want to smile more than I sit emotionless and alone

You always make me smile..
u think u can do that forever?

I wonder if my tears will stop if i let you in
Or will they just feel better
because you are here to wipe them away?

You asked me if I'm ready..
I know that I am

There is no way that I'm not

You want a full time lover
companion
friend
partner

I need it
Unless you feel that you need it
I can not look you in the eye and say it

When you can close your eyes and tell me you need it.. do you see me?

If you see me...

Look me in the eyes and ask your question again

And i'll say yes